I'll Give Someone $5 To Drink That Beer....

December 02, 2014

I'll Give Someone $5 To Drink That Beer....

Not Even for $20

Seeing as I have no kitchen at the present time (my kitchen is a demo site), I was forced to peruse any and all grilling and toaster oven (there should really be more of these) capable recipes. That's when I came across this gem, Taste of Home Herbed Beer Can Chicken. My daughter, Taylor, loves beer can chicken. I am pretty sure it has a lot to do with the fact this was the very first meal she cooked from start to finish without any help from her mama. My son, Ryan, likes the idea of beer can chicken...I think he just finds the whole idea of degrading this poor bird really funny. I'm sure I'll hear about it in his future therapist's office.

This is a great recipe for getting kiddos involved...especially if they find a chicken sitting on a beer hilarious. If nothing else, it will give them something to talk to their therapists about....unless your house is like mine, and your kids already have a running list. But I digress, Taylor was my sous chef (since she's experienced and this is my first beer can chicken), Ryan cut the herbs out of the garden and laughed under his breath, and Mark Henry said over and over he doesn't eat chicken. More than likely, sitting a whole chicken on a beer will not help him get over eating chicken not in the nugget form.

To be fair, I actually prepared this chicken over a year ago. The only real memories of the beer can chicken were 1) the things I have already written 2) it was delicious 3) we had fun making it 4) I remember thinking I would make it again in a heartbeat 5) it wasn't expensive and 6)

....once we pulled the bird off of the beer can contraption (which is no easy feat and is still really hot even after the 15 minutes of resting it...be careful...this part is not for kiddos or humans in general-especially ones that have consumed any of the unused beers), I could vaguely hear Taylor whispering to Ryan (her younger brother...the one she likes to torture) and then I could hear Ryan shrieking in protest....and then inaudibly hearing Taylor whisper/coaxing him. I figured I better get to the bottom of what was going on....only after I opened and drank another beer...I was fairly certain I would need it. I went over to my three children huddled around discussing something intently. When I got there, I could see they were huddled around this disgusting looking herb and chicken juice filled beer. "What is going on guys?" I (and the neighborhood dogs) could only sort of make out Ryan's high pitched protest/whine...Taylor just looked at me with a guilty, eyebrow raised, fake innocent look, saying, "what...?" I went to the only credible source...the 5 year old. "Ummm..." (hesitant at first, then deciding this was a great opportunity to rat out his siblings "Taylor is trying to pay Ryan to drink that!"(pointing at the chicken beer). Me, "How much?" (thinking she's holding out on me with some magical stash of money) Mark Henry, "Five dollars."(he said matter of factly, now that he is drunk with power). Taylor just looked at me. I lecture her...and ask her to please stop torturing her brothers and help me clean up. She agrees and the huddle disburses. As she and I walk to clean up the mess, she says under her breath, out of the side of her mouth, "He said he'd do it for $20..." The big sister in me was proud of her negotiation skills and super tempted to loan her the money...

Just for the record (for child protective services and future therapy sessions)...No one drank the beer.